When Something Just Feels Wrong

Juni 5, 2014 5 mins to read
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It’s 01:00 am, I’m listening to this amazing conversation of Mitch Joel and Jonathan Fields and I’m currently working on the PC of a good friend. He’s repairing my car regularly, doing the maintenance intervals and fixing it when things brake – and he asked me for a favor.

He asked me whether I could set up his laptop with a new Windows version, because it had XP installed and hence I’m making money online, I’m “the Computer Guy”.

The moment he asked me, I had the feeling that I shouldn’t help him, but instead refer him to a local IT specialist. There were several reasons for this feeling:

  1. Despite the fact that I’m a Web Designer and Coder, I’m not an expert for Windows. That’s another topic and to be honest, I don’t really like Windows (more on that probably later).
  2. His laptop is approx. 6 years old.

Even though my got told me not to, I said “Sure, I’ll help you out” and took his laptop.

Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you’re generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make. – Donald Trump

Backing up his data and upgrading Windows XP wasn’t a big deal and went smoothly. After a few days – I was busy working on my own (paid) projects – I handed him the laptop back and told him that it was done and he’d just need to re-install his anti-virus software.

That’s were the problems began. The laptop simply isn’t powerful enough for the new Windows version and runs really really slow. So he asked me whether I could recover the backup.

Like it always is in these situations, the backup is invalid and can’t be restored. When I made the backup, I just trusted the software and didn’t test the backup. Now I’m heading towards a day of installing Windows XP from scratch, desparately searching for hardware drivers to make my friends laptop work again.

How To Trust Your Intuition

The lesson learned is, that from now on I’m going to trust my intuition – regardless what it’s saying.

This decision is partly based upon listening to “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” by Dan S. Kennedy on Audible. The book is about trusting our servo-mechanisms to help us reach our goals. It’s a great book about creating a healthy self-image, crushing obstacles and tuning your mindset towards success.

One of the main takeaways from “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” is, that we all live by unconsciously defined rules, which we can re-define by regularly practicing exercises for our mindset. (Tweet this)

The rule that led me to work on the laptop of my friend is, that I’m never letting down my friends if I just see a small chance that I can help them.

However, as it turned out, this rule isn’t always true (what is?). In fact, my gut knew that I’m not the right person to help him with his laptop – and that he probably needs a new one.

But instead of telling him my concerns, I agreed to help him – which turned out not too good for either of us. He’s frustrated because the laptop is working slow and I’m spending time on his laptop that I would otherwise spend with my family.

If you get one takeaway from this story:

The next time your gut is telling you that you should or shouldn’t do something, listen carefully! (Tweet this)

Explore the reasons behind this feeling and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why is it, that you think you should do this particular thing?
  • Why shouldn’t you?
  • Is this feeling aligned with your goals?
  • Is the negative feeling just the fear of failure holding you back?
  • Maybe the imposter syndrome is taking over?

My gut had valid reasons to tell me not to work on the laptop. Ignoring that feeling caused quite some trouble, mostly because this feeling was exactly aligned with my goals. I’m a Web Designer, not a specialist for Windows. Web Designers use (and sometimes tweak) computers, they don’t necessarily maintain them on the level that’s necessary to recover broken backups. It must have known that these issues will occur.

So, when you’re exploring a new field and your gut is telling you that the field might not be aligned with your goals, pay attention. I’m not saying that you should always listen to your gut, but sometimes it’s a good indicator.

I’d love to hear if you’ve experienced similar situations. I suppose almost everyone reading this has a story to share, where he or she ignored her gut and things turned out worse than expected. Don’t be shy and please leave a comment below, we all can learn from these experiences!

Best,
Jan

16 Comments on “When Something Just Feels Wrong”

  1. Berty
    Juni 5, 2014

    Thanks for sharing this. I think this topic is something very familiar to many of us yet one I personally need to hear/read repeatedly. Still learning to stop second guessing my first intuition about anything. One of my most valuable experience learned from not listening to my gut is as I chose to go to my first internship place after I actually on hospitation day said „this is not right for me“. I went nevertheless because I was too afraid (or too lazy?) of not getting other internship place. Those 3 months turned out to be one of the hardest time, where I question a lot of things and struggle much.

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 5, 2014

      Hey Berty,
      thanks for sharing your story!

      Getting internships, working on projects or applying for new jobs definitely are situations where we need to trust our intuition. For me it feels like we can leverage our intuition to guide us towards our goals. Once we’re clear about what we want to achieve and we visualize our goals, our intuition somehow knows what actions we need to take to get there.

      I’m not saying that following our intuition blindly is always right, but if we pay close attention to what our gut is telling us, we can avoid quite some trouble.

      Keep up the great artwork 🙂

  2. Berty
    Juni 5, 2014

    Thanks for sharing this. I think this topic is something very familiar to many of us yet one I personally need to hear/read repeatedly. Still learning to stop second guessing my first intuition about anything. One of my most valuable experience learned from not listening to my gut is as I chose to go to my first internship place after I actually on hospitation day said „this is not right for me“. I went nevertheless because I was too afraid (or too lazy?) of not getting other internship place. Those 3 months turned out to be one of the hardest time, where I question a lot of things and struggle much.

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 5, 2014

      Hey Berty,
      thanks for sharing your story!

      Getting internships, working on projects or applying for new jobs definitely are situations where we need to trust our intuition. For me it feels like we can leverage our intuition to guide us towards our goals. Once we’re clear about what we want to achieve and we visualize our goals, our intuition somehow knows what actions we need to take to get there.

      I’m not saying that following our intuition blindly is always right, but if we pay close attention to what our gut is telling us, we can avoid quite some trouble.

      Keep up the great artwork 🙂

  3. Hey Jan,

    Great article! This post really resonated with me since I feel the same way sometimes, thanks for sharing this with us.

    At times, I can be working on a project, and all of a sudden I start to ask myself why I’m doing this in the first place, is it aligned with my goals? For example, I love doing my podcast every week and speaking to amazing people, but it is also very time consuming, especially the after work that goes into since I don’t have a big team at the moment. It will be great when I can hire an VA, hopefully soon to offload some work, so I can focus all my efforts on the most important tasks like product creation, guest blogging etc. to take my business to the next level. But I know the outreach and all the interviews I’m currently doing, will pay off big time in the future. It’s all about having amazing relationships with awesome people, if you want your business to grow substantially.

    Keep up the good work, glad to see that you’re making so much progress in your business!

    Navid

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 9, 2014

      Hey Navid,
      thanks for stopping by!

      It’s awesome to see your podcast grow and even though your first 8 weeks in iTunes are over, I’m sure you’ll still rock it! I know that you pour your heart in your podcast and the work and time you’re investing will definitely pay off in the future. It’s good that you reflect from time to time to see whether your actions are still aligned with your goals – that prevents you from getting off track!

      Looking forward to see your business grow even more!

      Cheers

  4. Hey Jan,

    Great article! This post really resonated with me since I feel the same way sometimes, thanks for sharing this with us.

    At times, I can be working on a project, and all of a sudden I start to ask myself why I’m doing this in the first place, is it aligned with my goals? For example, I love doing my podcast every week and speaking to amazing people, but it is also very time consuming, especially the after work that goes into since I don’t have a big team at the moment. It will be great when I can hire an VA, hopefully soon to offload some work, so I can focus all my efforts on the most important tasks like product creation, guest blogging etc. to take my business to the next level. But I know the outreach and all the interviews I’m currently doing, will pay off big time in the future. It’s all about having amazing relationships with awesome people, if you want your business to grow substantially.

    Keep up the good work, glad to see that you’re making so much progress in your business!

    Navid

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 9, 2014

      Hey Navid,
      thanks for stopping by!

      It’s awesome to see your podcast grow and even though your first 8 weeks in iTunes are over, I’m sure you’ll still rock it! I know that you pour your heart in your podcast and the work and time you’re investing will definitely pay off in the future. It’s good that you reflect from time to time to see whether your actions are still aligned with your goals – that prevents you from getting off track!

      Looking forward to see your business grow even more!

      Cheers

  5. Hi Jan,

    I fully agree with you. A few months after I created my blog I received an offer to write a review about a website and place it on my own blog in exchange of money. They provided a service I would never use/pay and it felt wrong.

    I was new into blogging and it would be tempting to accept the job, but as you say, we have to trust our intuition. So, I rejected it.

    Maybe it’s not the same case, because what you did wasn’t morally wrong, but it’s about knowing the difference between what we could do and what we should do.

    If something feels slightly wrong, it’s not worth our time.

    Nice post 🙂

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 10, 2014

      Hey Karen,

      thanks for sharing your story with us! I’m getting several proposals regularly, almost each week. Most often those companies aren’t even close to the mission of our blogs, they’re just desperately searching for advertising spaces.

      Very good decision to trust your gut and not to go for the easy money. You’ve saved yourself from trouble, because it most likely would have led to loosing the trust of your visitors.

      Can’t wait to hear more from you. It’s been a while since my last visit at your blog, but I’ll head over to it tonight 🙂

      Cheers,
      Jan

  6. Hi Jan,

    I fully agree with you. A few months after I created my blog I received an offer to write a review about a website and place it on my own blog in exchange of money. They provided a service I would never use/pay and it felt wrong.

    I was new into blogging and it would be tempting to accept the job, but as you say, we have to trust our intuition. So, I rejected it.

    Maybe it’s not the same case, because what you did wasn’t morally wrong, but it’s about knowing the difference between what we could do and what we should do.

    If something feels slightly wrong, it’s not worth our time.

    Nice post 🙂

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 10, 2014

      Hey Karen,

      thanks for sharing your story with us! I’m getting several proposals regularly, almost each week. Most often those companies aren’t even close to the mission of our blogs, they’re just desperately searching for advertising spaces.

      Very good decision to trust your gut and not to go for the easy money. You’ve saved yourself from trouble, because it most likely would have led to loosing the trust of your visitors.

      Can’t wait to hear more from you. It’s been a while since my last visit at your blog, but I’ll head over to it tonight 🙂

      Cheers,
      Jan

  7. Jan, this is simply brilliantly put! to enhance the advices you got from Psycho-Cybernetics I would urge on further reading Lateral Thinking by Edward De Bono. And yes, we must get away from pattern thinking and evolve to a higher level of thinking. You will understand what I’m saying if you read the book.

    Chris

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 11, 2014

      Hey Chris,
      so glad that you like the post! Thank you for the book recommendation, I just added it to my wishlist on Audible! Can’t wait to read it, your recommendations are always pure gold 🙂

      Cheers!

  8. Jan, this is simply brilliantly put! to enhance the advices you got from Psycho-Cybernetics I would urge on further reading Lateral Thinking by Edward De Bono. And yes, we must get away from pattern thinking and evolve to a higher level of thinking. You will understand what I’m saying if you read the book.

    Chris

    1. Jan Koch
      Juni 11, 2014

      Hey Chris,
      so glad that you like the post! Thank you for the book recommendation, I just added it to my wishlist on Audible! Can’t wait to read it, your recommendations are always pure gold 🙂

      Cheers!

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